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      07-29-2014, 03:04 AM   #1
krx927
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The Jeremy Clarkson BMW M4 Review

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http://www.driving.co.uk/car-reviews...w-bmw-m4-2014/

My favorite part of the article:

My initial reaction when the car was delivered was to feel slightly sick. That is because it had been painted in quite the most revolting colour Iíve seen. BMW calls it Austin Yellow, suggesting that it would have suited an Allegro back in the day. And it would. But Baby Diarrhoea is nearer the mark.

Itís hard really to judge a car when it is such a horrible colour. It is like trying to learn to understand the moods of a bald dog. And to make matters worse, the other colours on offer are not much better. Best, I think, to go for black.

Quote:
The Clarkson review: BMW M4 (2014)

Call up the old gang, Mr T - this paint job needs attention

By Jeremy Clarkson
Published 21st July 2014


ITíS ALWAYS been said that technology and ideas developed in Formula One motor racing improve the cars we drive to work every day. Er, right. I see, so does your Nissan Juke have tyres that lose their ability to grip after 24 miles? Does your Toyota GT86 crash if the rear spoiler falls off? Can your Audi A3 be serviced as you drive it down the A38?

You do, of course, have antilock brakes, rain-sensing wipers, automatic headlights, inertia-reel seatbelts and a starter motor. But none of that lot ó nothing that really matters ó came from F1. And thereís more. If F1 really were developing technology that eventually filtered down into road cars, then you would expect Renault, Ferrari and Mercedes to be at the forefront of hybrid technology. And theyíre not.

The car company that is at the forefront of hybrid technology right now is BMW, which isnít involved in F1. Its little i3 is intriguing, and, as I mentioned last week, the car Iím most looking forward to driving this year is the i8, which by all accounts is comparable to the Porsche 911. Except that it does 134.5mpg.

My worry ó and I mentioned this too ó is that BMW, like every other company in the world, has a limited pool of talent. And if the brightest and the best have been drafted into the hybrid projects, we have to assume itís the B-team that is charged with developing the car you see photographed on this page ó the new M4. So does that mean itís not as good as it could have been?

My initial reaction when the car was delivered was to feel slightly sick. That is because it had been painted in quite the most revolting colour Iíve seen. BMW calls it Austin Yellow, suggesting that it would have suited an Allegro back in the day. And it would. But Baby Diarrhoea is nearer the mark.

Itís hard really to judge a car when it is such a horrible colour. It is like trying to learn to understand the moods of a bald dog. And to make matters worse, the other colours on offer are not much better. Best, I think, to go for black.

Thereís another advantage to this. If the car is black, you donít notice quite so quickly that the stylists simply didnít know when the time was right to step away from the drawing board. Every detail is garnished with yet more detail, and the end result is fussy. The door mirrors are especially annoying. Possibly the company has done this to make the two-door M4 coupť stand out more from the four-door M3 saloon, but Iím really not sure it was necessary.

Eventually, though, I was able to put the styling and the colour out of my mind and concentrate on the car, which ó on paper at least ó looks a step back from its predecessor, which was called the M3 coupť. That car had a glorious V8 that screamed and hollered as the revs rose and then howled in an orgy of what sounded like BDSM ecstasy as it neared the red line.

Well, you can forget all that. The new car is fitted with a turbocharged straight six. Turbocharging? In an M car? Thatís like putting gravy on an ice cream. However, this and the electric power steering are necessary these days if a car is to meet EU emissions regulations. Itís not the end of the world, because you get even more power than you did from the old V8, and a huge spread of torque. On the downside you lose those top-end shenanigans. And the throttle response is a little more squidgy, a problem thatís made worse by a seven-speed flappy-paddle gearbox that offers no creep. Unlike a standard automatic, the car wonít move until you put your foot on the accelerator. Which makes parking a jerky bloody nightmare.

And while we are on the subject of the gearbox, I was forever being told by bongs and rude messages that I might not turn off the ignition until I had put the gearlever into Park. But as far as I could see, there was no Park. What you have to do to solve the problem is to slam the lever this way and that while swearing.

So, to recap, the colours are awful, the styling is blingtastic, the door mirrors are annoying, the gearbox is flawed, the engine is a step backwards and parking is hard. It sounds, then, as though BMWís B-team hasnít been able to overcome the emissions regulations, and as a result the car is not as good as the previous model. Yes, and thereís more.

The M4 is not a particularly heavy car. Much plastic and carbon fibre is used to keep the weight, and therefore the fuel consumption, down. But it feels, as you potter about, as if it weighs more than a football stadium. You really do have to manhandle the wheel, and when you run over a bump, thereís a sense it is simply being squashed.

There are, however, some good points. Itís a very easy car to use: all the command systems are as natural as breathing. It is also fitted with fabulous seats. And I loved being able to select tracks on my iPod from a list shown on the head-up display. Oh, and I nearly forgot: it is truly marvellous to drive.

Yes, the engine is different in character from the old V8, but if you sit in the big meat pie of torque rather than at the summit of the power, you find you get all the oomph you want and total control over what the rear wheels are doing. Millimetric movements of your right foot are translated instantly into shifts in how the car behaves, and you can feel it all through the steering wheel, even though itís not really connected to the car.

The differential is fantastic, the brakes are wondrous, the antilock system is spot-on and the noise is a big bass-baritone that comes from the engine, not some laptop-activated exhaust valve.

Itís fast too. The figures donít tell you all the story, because when you put everything in Sport Plus mode and plant your foot into the carpet, the car sets off like a disturbed shark. I honestly havenít enjoyed driving a vehicle as much as this for months.

There was a time, of course, when the M3 was hijacked by the nationís squash-playing dealmakers. People in braces who didnít really know what it was; only that it made them look good. It was an accessory, like Oakley sunglasses.


Today these people are driving fast Audis and, to a certain extent, Mercedes AMGs. Which means the M3 and the M4 can be bought once more by people who simply want a seriously good car.


I just wish BMWís A-team had been involved in its design, though. Because I feel sure the stylists would have fitted less stupid door mirrors and made certain that some of the colours at least didnít leave you feeling physically ill.

Clarksonís verdict ★★★★☆

Not bad for the B-team


BMW M4 specifications

Engine 2979cc, 6 cylinders in line
Power 425bhp @ 5500rpm
Torque 405 lb ft @ 1850rpm
Transmission 7-speed dual-clutch sequential/automatic
Acceleration 0-62mph in 4.1sec
Top speed 155mph
Fuel 34mpg
CO2 194g/km
Road tax band J
Price £59,145 (price correct at time of publication)
Release date On sale now

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      07-29-2014, 04:21 AM   #2
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Clarkson is surely great fun to watch and listen to, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I.e. while I generally adore black color on my BMWs (all I owned and own are black), I think going black for M4 is the worst choice ever - it has to be either AY or SO. The mirror design of an M4 for me and overall design of the car actually is very good. I mean the only M (before M4) that I actually bothered to look at and work hard for buying is the current M6.

One thing I have to agree with though – having R=P is still and always will be completely bonkers.
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      07-29-2014, 04:53 AM   #3
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IMO, black paint always makes the most sense if you are a man.
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      07-29-2014, 05:11 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armen383 View Post
...I think going black for M4 is the worst choice ever - .
Well you're entitled to your opinion, though I cannot see any substantiation for this statement anywhere in your post. And believe me, whatever you think the colour of an M4 should be, I've definitely made worse choices in my life than this...
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      07-29-2014, 05:15 AM   #5
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To me, it is like picking a dress for your supermodel/nuclear physicist girlfriend. Some will like it, some will not, but it's the same product underneath.
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      07-29-2014, 06:32 AM   #6
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His comments on DCT make me more comfortable with my choice of the manual tranny.

And one does have to chuckle at the thought of Lups' Hornet being a baby diaper...
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      07-29-2014, 06:51 AM   #7
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Thank goodness someone as popular as Clarkson has complained about the colors. Hopefully BMW will finally do something about the awful color palette especially as it's something so easy to change
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      07-29-2014, 06:53 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stressdoc View Post
His comments on DCT make me more comfortable with my choice of the manual tranny.

And one does have to chuckle at the thought of Lups' Hornet being a baby diaper...
His inaccurate and poorly researched comments regarding the DCT gearbox particularly annoyed me.

“a seven-speed flappy-paddle gearbox that offers no creep. Unlike a standard automatic, the car won’t move until you put your foot on the accelerator. Which makes parking a jerky bloody nightmare.”
- Incorrect: The M4 does have the ability to creep – It’s called “Low Speed Assistant” and activated by one small tap on the accelerator.

“And while we are on the subject of the gearbox, I was forever being told by bongs and rude messages that I might not turn off the ignition until I had put the gearlever into Park. But as far as I could see, there was no Park. What you have to do to solve the problem is to slam the lever this way and that while swearing.”
- Incorrect: You don’t have to do anything other than switch off the ignition – The car is just warning you with a check control message that you have left the ignition on and that it will not auto engage park until you switch it off.
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      07-29-2014, 06:57 AM   #9
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It's a clown review at best
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      07-29-2014, 07:09 AM   #10
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Got to love ClarksonHis comments about the colours is dead on!
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      07-29-2014, 07:22 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krx927 View Post

My initial reaction when the car was delivered was to feel slightly sick. That is because it had been painted in quite the most revolting colour Iíve seen. BMW calls it Austin Yellow, suggesting that it would have suited an Allegro back in the day. And it would. But Baby Diarrhoea is nearer the mark.

Itís hard really to judge a car when it is such a horrible colour. It is like trying to learn to understand the moods of a bald dog. And to make matters worse, the other colours on offer are not much better. Best, I think, to go for black.
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      07-29-2014, 07:47 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M4 JTD View Post
His inaccurate and poorly researched comments regarding the DCT gearbox particularly annoyed me.

ďa seven-speed flappy-paddle gearbox that offers no creep. Unlike a standard automatic, the car wonít move until you put your foot on the accelerator. Which makes parking a jerky bloody nightmare.Ē
- Incorrect: The M4 does have the ability to creep Ė Itís called ďLow Speed AssistantĒ and activated by one small tap on the accelerator.

ďAnd while we are on the subject of the gearbox, I was forever being told by bongs and rude messages that I might not turn off the ignition until I had put the gearlever into Park. But as far as I could see, there was no Park. What you have to do to solve the problem is to slam the lever this way and that while swearing.Ē
- Incorrect: You donít have to do anything other than switch off the ignition Ė The car is just warning you with a check control message that you have left the ignition on and that it will not auto engage park until you switch it off.
You are correct. It was hard to take any of this review seriously after reading these two "points" in particular. I love a good manual transmission, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with the DCT in the F8x series.
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      07-29-2014, 07:51 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krx927 View Post
http://www.driving.co.uk/car-reviews...w-bmw-m4-2014/

My favorite part of the article:

My initial reaction when the car was delivered was to feel slightly sick. That is because it had been painted in quite the most revolting colour Iíve seen. BMW calls it Austin Yellow, suggesting that it would have suited an Allegro back in the day. And it would. But Baby Diarrhoea is nearer the mark.

Itís hard really to judge a car when it is such a horrible colour. It is like trying to learn to understand the moods of a bald dog. And to make matters worse, the other colours on offer are not much better. Best, I think, to go for black.
The AY is awesome. I have seen Gt's car in person. The colour is one of the nicest. About the nightmare parking and the car not moving without pressing the accelerator, is wrong.
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      07-29-2014, 08:07 AM   #14
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The first pictures I saw of the car in the piss yellow turned me off and I stopped looking/considering it for months. First opinions are everything.
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      07-29-2014, 08:11 AM   #15
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I had a feeling that short write-up that everyone was so excited about Clarkson writing was not real. The one where he asks for a BMW M4 as a birthday gift.

No way someone who wrote that could turn it around and put out this review. It wasnt negative, but it wasnt positive either.
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      07-29-2014, 08:26 AM   #16
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It was funny and I liked it. It's Clarkson... unless it's a Merc with 6.2L AMG engine, he won't like it. Hammond is BMW lover.
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      07-29-2014, 08:33 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Damasconian View Post
I had a feeling that short write-up that everyone was so excited about Clarkson writing was not real. The one where he asks for a BMW M4 as a birthday gift.

No way someone who wrote that could turn it around and put out this review. It wasnt negative, but it wasnt positive either.
That wasn't positive? Did we read the same article?
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      07-29-2014, 08:53 AM   #18
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I wouldnt say it was positive. Seems like he spent more time criticizing the car than praising it. Im not hater, I get my M4 last week of september so I have skin in the game. I really wanted this to come across better than it did.

But when you read this segment below then compare it to what he wrote in the review, the two just dont add up. Colors aside, does this review move you to think he'd actually buy one for himself?
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      07-29-2014, 09:09 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stressdoc View Post
His comments on DCT make me more comfortable with my choice of the manual tranny.

And one does have to chuckle at the thought of Lups' Hornet being a baby diaper...
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      07-29-2014, 09:11 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Damasconian View Post
I wouldnt say it was positive. Seems like he spent more time criticizing the car than praising it. Im not hater, I get my M4 last week of september so I have skin in the game. I really wanted this to come across better than it did.

But when you read this segment below then compare it to what he wrote in the review, the two just dont add up. Colors aside, does this review move you to think he'd actually buy one for himself?
It is typical Clarkson. First say some stuff, then pivot suddenly to conclusion, which is here:

Quote:
There are, however, some good points. It’s a very easy car to use: all the command systems are as natural as breathing. It is also fitted with fabulous seats. And I loved being able to select tracks on my iPod from a list shown on the head-up display. Oh, and I nearly forgot: it is truly marvellous to drive.

Yes, the engine is different in character from the old V8, but if you sit in the big meat pie of torque rather than at the summit of the power, you find you get all the oomph you want and total control over what the rear wheels are doing. Millimetric movements of your right foot are translated instantly into shifts in how the car behaves, and you can feel it all through the steering wheel, even though it’s not really connected to the car.

The differential is fantastic, the brakes are wondrous, the antilock system is spot-on and the noise is a big bass-baritone that comes from the engine, not some laptop-activated exhaust valve.


It’s fast too. The figures don’t tell you all the story, because when you put everything in Sport Plus mode and plant your foot into the carpet, the car sets off like a disturbed shark. I honestly haven’t enjoyed driving a vehicle as much as this for months.


There was a time, of course, when the M3 was hijacked by the nation’s squash-playing dealmakers. People in braces who didn’t really know what it was; only that it made them look good. It was an accessory, like Oakley sunglasses.

Today these people are driving fast Audis and, to a certain extent, Mercedes AMGs. Which means the M3 and the M4 can be bought once more by people who simply want a seriously good car.

I just wish BMW’s A-team had been involved in its design, though. Because I feel sure the stylists would have fitted less stupid door mirrors and made certain that some of the colours at least didn’t leave you feeling physically ill.
So he doesn't like the design and some of the minor 'nanny' issues, but he likes the car and he likes driving it, which would seem to be the more important issues....

So, sure, maybe he would buy one.

...just not in Austin Yellow...

...and not with DCT.
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      07-29-2014, 09:17 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tallshortguy View Post
That wasn't positive? Did we read the same article?
Quote:
Originally Posted by myzmak View Post
It is typical Clarkson. First say some stuff, then pivot suddenly to conclusion, which is here:



So he doesn't like the design and some of the minor 'nanny' issues, but he likes the car and he likes driving it, which would seem to be the more important issues....
I agree he likes the car, no doubt about that. But if you had read the review and then the segment from the BBC radio, would you think they were written by the same guy. Again, I have bought one, I didnt come here to knock my own car. But reading the two back to back just doesnt add up.

I would say overall I am not a fan of Clarkson. His style is so obvious (bash, then pivot) and his hatred of all things USA got old a decade ago. But consistency is something we all want in our car reviewers (ie Harris) and Clarkson is all over the place.
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      07-29-2014, 09:26 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Damasconian View Post
I agree he likes the car, no doubt about that. But if you had read the review and then the segment from the BBC radio, would you think they were written by the same guy. Again, I have bought one, I didnt come here to knock my own car. But reading the two back to back just doesnt add up.

I would say overall I am not a fan of Clarkson. His style is so obvious (bash, then pivot) and his hatred of all things USA got old a decade ago. But consistency is something we all want in our car reviewers (ie Harris) and Clarkson is all over the place.
The "segment" was from TG magazine (I was the original poster of that image).

....and, yes, I would believe they are written by the same guy.

His complaints about the M4 are minor (color, mirrors, DCT issues). But his conclusion in the TG editorial is this:

Quote:
In short, I like cars but only if they are brilliant and new and reliable and comfortable and I can plug my iPod into the sound system and listen to Who's Next. There are very, very few which meet all of my requirements but...well, let me put it this way, for my next birthday, I think i'd be very happy with a BMW M4.
....which sounds a lot like his review of the M4 in addition to his saying "oh by the way, it drives brilliantly too".

He is also, BTW, well aware of the comments his colleagues at TG Mag made on the M4 in the 'speed week' issue, which he referenced the week prior in his Times review of an Outlander:

Quote:
ACCORDING TO my colleagues on Top Gear, the new BMW M3 is a tiny bit of a letdown. They say its turbocharged engine doesn’t have the rev-hungry zing of its predecessors and that while it’s still fast and grippy, it all feels a bit studied and neutered and safe.
http://www.driving.co.uk/car-reviews...er-phev-gx4hs/

....and it is clear from his own review, he does not necessarily share that view.

In short, he isn't gonna be a major fanboi 'OMG this car is like soooooo great I just peed myself'. He really dislikes the things he dislikes. But he likes the car, he likes driving it and, it would seem, it hits all of his buttons, no matter what the guys who write for the Mag say.

In short: you have skin in the game, but don't worry so much, man. If the styling doesn't offend you, you have little to worry about from his review.
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