[Lups]

Originally Posted by minn19

Fucking dogs. We have to put ours down today and I'm way more emotional than I thought I'd be about it.

I'm so fucking sorry Minnie! I'm not a great wordsmith in a time of grief so forgive me for fucking this up.

I was 20 when after army I moved away from home. I took with me two plates, a frying pan, a tiny pot, two forks and two knifes and a sack of puppy food for the puppy I bought the night before moving. I should've been terrified about uni starting or how to become an actual adult (never happened) but on our way to the student housing, all I thought about was how on earth would I manage to find a job that would fit my class schedule to keep the puppy fed.

Our start together went epically. I found a job, managed to figure out I had dyslexia, classes went really well since I finally figured out how to write. Yeah, in university... From 6 am morning walk to the evening roller skating or running that never took place before 2am our puppy life was busy but epic. Tessa grew up to be a complete bitch. She hated my boyfriend of the time, he had no business in her bed (where I was allowed to sleep...), turning up home drunk meant she threw anything she could find on me at six am, she once threw my frying pan on the bed for fucks sake!

Tessa wasn't the biggest dog in the world, but she was fierce and fast. When I had my first go with a stalker who broke in to the mentioned flat twice, she was still in basic training but after that I taught her how to take down a man and she started from that day on to be more guarded. My ex hated that dog so much

Our life was pretty normal besides our insane schedule but she came everywhere with me. I have tons of pics from our pub where Tessa was also served with her own pint (of water), we went hunting together when ever we could since she loved catching her own food and I didn't mind eating fresh rabbit stew for free on our tight student budget and I didn't feel like asking my parents for money. Once she brought me a mallard when she considered our diet too narrow in the middle of a winter. I swear, she was the best horrible bitch I've ever had.

After she had been without a master for a few years, she decided to allow me to pair up again. This time around she was even kind enough to allow the future hubby to her bed. Then, a few years later she started to act up big time.

The hubby and I were going through a really rough time since a nice doctor had told me a bit earlier that if we would want kids, we should start working on it. I still remember how depressing the thought was for me but I had kind of given up on the idea of having even one at that time. A few months later the dog acting up and not letting even my dad near was the first hint I got that a baby was going to join the family. At no point did she leave me alone.

When we brought home the baby we were pretty afraid of her reaction. Considering her training and her attitude towards everyone else but me, I had been considering giving her to my dad. Well, she sniffed the baby, went to fetch her best, smelliest, most disgusting bone and gave it to the kid who at the mature age of 2 days didn't appreciate the gift enough so she refused to be in the same room with the horrible baby for months. I've never seen a dog so hurt.

On our usual day walk, some random woman came too close to the baby carrier, and from that day on to her last day on earth Tessa was convinced I was unfit to be a parent and that it was her job to take care of the kids. If we were walking on sidewalk, she made the kids walk on the safer side. If we were swimming, she herded me to the water so I could keep the babies from dying. If I didn't go, she went to keep the kids away from the water and we are talking distances of a few ft and water for less than an ft. If we went for a walk in the woods, her favorite lunch items were left alone because she was busy making sure I wouldn't lose the kids. If the kids went to grandma, the dog went too or if not allowed, she ran off and showed up at their door. She didn't like the kids or play with them, didn't even greet them when we came home but she never trusted me with them after an old lady got too close to them without her being informed of a clearance again.

When my dad died, she let me pet her for hours and she hated being petted. When we moved to the states my mom suggested that we should leave the 12 year old dog home and after that the dog refused to even shit on her lawn. When we moved to Seattle, she became even funnier about her role as the security officer of the family but the signs of a rabid decline were there. She had a few tumors and her joints were hurting badly. A day or two after my first road trip I finally had to admit that she had reached her end. The shock of seeing her for the first time for a month was too much. There was nothing I could do so I took her to the vet, had her put down and then I drove home.

I felt nothing. The kids were crying, hubby was trying to look unhappy, our other dog seemed a bit off. Absolutely not a hint of feelings came out.

Then this happened.

http://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sho...1010588&page=5

Post 94, I couldn't apparently post directly.

I still start laughing spontaneously at times when I remember that situation at the parking lot. That is by far my favorite thread on this forum and I read it often since it reminds me of her and our weird relationship.

I'm sorry you have to go through this now but the good memories will push through at some point and loving something as stupid as a dog is completely worth it! My Tessa was a horrible dog. Never obeyed me if she knew I didn't need her to, then on other times she was a total showoff and she hated to look like a bitch she was when we were around the obedience crew with their uppity breed dogs. She had a fuck off stare that kept men away from her bed (let's face it, I was only allowed because I fluffed her pillow so well), she didn't like anyone and her way of saying thanks was a cold stare.

You're now surprised you feel bad but just remember that you don't want a dog when the wife and the daughter tries to talk you in to looking at puppy pics.