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Originally Posted by ///d
I'm guessing the ignore option only works for future posts? Better than nothing I suppose.
Back on topic, I'm trying to get one of my Joes more comfortable talking to girls (even just people in general) and I'm struggling. He is so nervous to talk to people that he will avoid any interaction with someone, especially if he thinks they are cute, but at the same time if he ends up in a conversation with them without really realizing it he is smooth and confident getting smiles and laughs like crazy. As soon as he "realizes" it then he locks up and stumbles through everything.
I watched one of his anxiety attacks unfold as we were talking about one girl in particular, she kept randomly coming around and giving hints like she liked him, so one of the guys asked her about him and mentioned that he liked her and all of a sudden she was around constantly, coming around asking for him to hang out, just showing up with food for him and her, etc. After a few days of him not catching on we were talking about her and he kept saying he doesnt see how she could like him, so we told him how she is coming around constantly and he went from calm to breathing heavy, studdering, and almost shaking. Then he completely ruined it by making everything awkward and now she barely talks to him.
I have gotten him to ask girls to hang out for coffee or bingo and such (not a lot to do on base) a couple times now, and he says they went good and they hung of for a good while each night, but then he gets inside his own head and convinces himself that they aren't interested and never talks to them again.
He is getting better at talking to people in general but right about the time I think he's got it, I see his habits come back with finding ways to avoid it. I'm at a loss, this kid has ZERO confidence in himself... in anything. Unless its ultimate frisbee, then he thinks he is a god.
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These aren’t, “habits”. There’s something causing this behavior. And, nothing will change until he or someone figures out what’s causing all this behavior. Until that happens, trying to get him comfortable talking to people, is only going to make it worse.