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      04-15-2024, 07:29 PM   #1
floridaorange
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2 kids vs 3

Any advice? Itís now or never - we are so on the fence about a 3rd. For that reason, we arenít really thinking we should but then we both have days when we want another.
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Sounds pizzagatey.
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      04-15-2024, 07:33 PM   #2
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Get a dog.
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      04-15-2024, 08:02 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floridaorange View Post
Any advice? Itís now or never - we are so on the fence about a 3rd. For that reason, we arenít really thinking we should but then we both have days when we want another.
We have 2 girls, so I have to go for a 3rd, or maybe 4th or 5th, who knows

I love kids, so as long as my physical and financial situation permits it, I'll go for it
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      04-15-2024, 08:04 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floridaorange View Post
Any advice? Itís now or never - we are so on the fence about a 3rd. For that reason, we arenít really thinking we should but then we both have days when we want another.
It's such a big decision that you might consider looking for assistance/advice of some kind: professional or...I don't know.
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      04-15-2024, 08:06 PM   #5
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My wife’s OB told us after we had our second that we should have a third, it’s easy, like bringing home a cat… needless to say we stopped at two.
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      04-15-2024, 08:13 PM   #6
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We have a cat and a dog.

My wife wants our youngest son to have a younger brother. Anyway - just looking for some experiences not going to base our decision off a message board but there are some thoughtful older wiser than me ppl on here.
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Sounds pizzagatey.
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      04-15-2024, 08:16 PM   #7
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My wife’s OB told us after we had our second that we should have a third, it’s easy, like bring home a cat… needless to say we stopped at two.
Haha, that's what we did.

Seriously though, we had a girl and a boy and stopped there. Just right for us. No regrets.
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      04-15-2024, 08:19 PM   #8
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The third kid tends to be overlooked by parents, is often an outsider to the older siblings, and the third tends to get away with murder as the parents are too tired or just don't care as much
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      04-15-2024, 08:40 PM   #9
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On a serious note, if the 2 kids get along, the 3rd sometimes disrupts that harmony. The middle child syndrome is real. Of course, finances, living situation, food, rooms, college, etc are real issues as well.

On a lighter but even more serious note, no more coupes or even tight sedans. Time for a SUV, probably a 3 row one, or a minivan!
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      04-15-2024, 09:14 PM   #10
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Family vacation packages come in 4s so either have 2 kids or 6. Your call.
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      04-15-2024, 09:33 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floridaorange View Post
Any advice? Itís now or never - we are so on the fence about a 3rd. For that reason, we arenít really thinking we should but then we both have days when we want another.
Go for 3. Everyone who I speak to with 2 says they wish they had more. We have one and want 5.
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      04-15-2024, 09:46 PM   #12
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Two. Easier to divide when it’s time for school or after school functions; mom with one and dad with the other.
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      04-15-2024, 09:54 PM   #13
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Two. Easier to divide when itís time for school or after school functions; mom with one and dad with the other.
Exactly. To put a differently, are you more interested in one-on-one coverage or zone defense.

Three kids is very "keeping up with the Joneses". Have 3 because you want to, not because "everyone else is" or someone told you to.

Coincidendally, every family I know with three kids has legit mental health or behavior issues with at least one of the kids.
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      04-15-2024, 10:08 PM   #14
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...The middle child syndrome is real...
I have 4 (well, 3 now; my younger brother has passed) siblings. The middle child has never been part of the family. I didn't even know she was at my brother's memorial until I saw her crossing the parking lot immediately after the service. She didn't stick around for the reception. My other two sisters and I haven't had any communication with her in years. She even unfriended me on fakebook, when I was on it.


We also stopped at two. A major reason is I told my wife that if she wasn't pregers by my 35th birthday I was done. Our daughter was born on my 34th birthday. Had we had our daughter sooner, we may have tried for a 3rd.
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      04-16-2024, 05:49 AM   #15
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Thank you - some good reality checks here - I think logically 2 is just much safer - as pointed out - we do have harmony now. My sister has 4. We grew up in a family of 3, almost 4, but the 4th didn’t make it during the birth and frankly we do have 1 sibling in my childhood family that suffers from mental health issues from time to time.

A side note, my bestfriends middle brother had his 8th child a yr ago at like 44 yrs of age, so…
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Sounds pizzagatey.

Last edited by floridaorange; 04-16-2024 at 04:17 PM..
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      04-16-2024, 06:16 AM   #16
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Wanted 3 but was stationed at Incirlik AB, Turkey. Wife would have had to deliver at Aviano AB, IT. Decided not to. Some regrets.
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      04-16-2024, 06:34 AM   #17
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Two now. She’ll kill me if we don’t have a third.
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      04-16-2024, 07:24 AM   #18
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I have an 11, 13, and 15 year old. A few things to keep in mind:

- Infant, diaper, toddler phase feels like an eternity and lasted nearly a decade. It turns into a rote behavior, but still got old quickly.
- Vacations are significantly more expensive. You’ll eventually need a larger room / two rooms for hotels and cruises, and as mentioned above most packages come in 4s, nothing comes in 5s.
- Coordinating school, kids’ activities, homework, etc. is significantly more complicated with 3 than 2. My kids attend three different schools and also have soccer, dance, and gymnastics after school. It's a lot.

And I’d still do it again. Kids are amazing, house is full of love, they’re all best friends, they get along extremely well, and they take care of themselves.


Last edited by Manny01; 04-16-2024 at 07:45 AM..
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      04-16-2024, 08:23 AM   #19
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Since this is an automotive forum, I have to add that a family of five (mom, dad + 3 kids) will ultimately not fit well in anything but a minivan. And even then, when you account for strollers and car seats, etc., things can get tight.
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      04-16-2024, 08:24 AM   #20
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I had this discussion with the wife. Unfortunately, most every stuff are made for even numbers, annoying at most, but not a blocker.

We conclude the planet dont need to be repopulated and we stopped at 2.

Some minor noted stuff I would need to change : sport car, only drive sport car with manual transmission, good luck to find one that fits 3 seats, even narrow space seats wont fit.
House too small, only have 2 bedrooms.

I ve 2 bro, and my parent were able to have a sport car, dodge steatlh , because our age was far apart so 1 seat while the 2 other no seats. Same for the rooms, older got in the basement, while the young one was upstairs.

Also, when the 2 adults got big jobs, it can slow down. 3 kids is near 4 years of missing experience.

anyway, nothing is a show stop when you love kids and ready to give them love.

There's a family near our place got 12 kids... yes they have a bus.
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      04-16-2024, 08:45 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Llarry View Post
Since this is an automotive forum, I have to add that a family of five (mom, dad + 3 kids) will ultimately not fit well in anything but a minivan. And even then, when you account for strollers and car seats, etc., things can get tight.
Another solid consideration. Could you get away with an SUV? Sure. But who wants a 3 ton extended SUV abomination that doesn't fit in their garage.


Minivan offers the perfect utility, functionality, and driving experience when you have a large family.
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      04-16-2024, 09:46 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manny01 View Post
I have an 11, 13, and 15 year old. A few things to keep in mind:

- Infant, diaper, toddler phase feels like an eternity and lasted nearly a decade. It turns into a rote behavior, but still got old quickly.
- Vacations are significantly more expensive. You’ll eventually need a larger room / two rooms for hotels and cruises, and as mentioned above most packages come in 4s, nothing comes in 5s.
- Coordinating school, kids’ activities, homework, etc. is significantly more complicated with 3 than 2. My kids attend three different schools and also have soccer, dance, and gymnastics after school. It's a lot.

And I’d still do it again. Kids are amazing, house is full of love, they’re all best friends, they get along extremely well, and they take care of themselves.

This is awesome, thank you for sharing.

I have quite a few siblings - (let's just say, more than 5)
Money doesn't matter to kids as much as time. And the secret to having all of them is having them closer in age.

It's a crazy concept that something as natural as having children, which for basically all of humanity was seen as a blessing - is now an inconvenience and a financial burden. we have allowed people to profit off something that happens every day all over the world naturally from animals to people.

Scripturally speaking - Children are a blessing from YWYH, and the more the merrier.

Psalms 127:3 WEBUS
Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward.
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