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      05-31-2019, 03:04 PM   #2487
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you think it's going to be all

but instead it's all
Same here and same here. It's been years since I angrily told a coworker to fuck off and meant it. Great day/great way to end a shitty week.
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      05-31-2019, 03:19 PM   #2488
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you think it's going to be all

but instead it's all
Hahahahaha, you've met my pupils?

Dude, i volunteer in projects with females involved. I also teach the professional women how to control their dogs as a hobby. My husband keeps on bitching about my dog training hobby. Apparently since I know everyone because of it, i should make money with it. I don't. I've never trained an owner for money. He just thinks it would take less of my time than stocks do.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-02-2019, 02:47 PM   #2489
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Roadtrip!

Who's in?

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I thought the next M4 was going to be a flying car powered by bloomin' onions and a teaspoon of mayonnaise. At least that's what I read on the internet @ BimmerPoop.org.
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      06-02-2019, 02:48 PM   #2490
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Roadtrip!

Who's in?

I'm in!
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-02-2019, 07:03 PM   #2491
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I’m out, but stay a night in ‘Sota so we can have a few drinks!
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      06-02-2019, 07:43 PM   #2492
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Roadtrip!

Who's in?

It seems you are studiously ignoring this Canuck so I'm out unfortunately...
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      06-03-2019, 03:41 PM   #2493
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Okay, so...

Fast recap. My sister has been down, and to cheer her up, i tried to make her build a wall with me, to go nuts with a drill hammer and all, but she really wanted a seriously girly night.

I knew I was fucked.

I booked us a spa day, then skipped it because my kitchen door mysteriously fell off and I had to build a wall to its place (and then a new door next to the original). Insane shit but I hate people touching me, so spa is no place for me.

Anyway, the word got out, and our old friends, even my husband wanted in on the night, we tend to go nuts when ever, every three years or more we do this...

I had eight pairs of heels and a ton of dresses packed and all, my friend is divorcing his shoe whore wife so he sent me all her new ones to piss her off. I thought that would be a great gift for my sis.

I did the whole freaking out over dresses bit, my shoulders fill a door to frame better than a dress. One could say I've pumped up my muscle mass lately and thanks to my water feature project, i was somewhat covered in black goo...

I seem to have a supernatural ability to know when a night will be a disaster. This one had my dasterometer on red from the start.

We had a sitter for the kids, my husband was joining us for the very first time and all. In the end, there were eight of us going, 6 of them more hairy than fairy. We even had glitter hair spray for the guys so they could enjoy the full experience!

Around six pm, my sister was picking me up, on her way back from the spa. The plan was to take our dogs for a small walk in the woods, then leave them with the sitter and get blasted while our mutual friend did our hair, before the guys joined us.

Not even 50 yards from the car, we parked to my aunt's summerhouses driveway, i spotted a boar. A pup.

I didn't even call for the dogs, i took my sis hand and dragged her to the car before I called for the dogs. The cabin is seriously on city grounds by a huge lake, secluded, but people are around the area all the time because our laws state anyone can wander around any woods, any time.

Wild boars are a new thing in Finland. They're pretty fucking dangerous and you have to report them if you see them within a city. Since it was the end of the schools weekend, no authority gave a fuck, they told us to go tell the people near by that a sighting had been made. A baby, nothing less.

Well, all the neighbouring summerhouses are owned by my relatives. I did minimum effort.

So we drove to my home, went around my relatives to let them know what I saw, since those are the people who own the land. My aunt had taken off her hearing aid and she was having a nap, at 7 pm. Hubby had gone to the gym, so we left the city limits. First time for me in a year basically. I was going 40 km in a wrong direction.

We got to my sister's home, opened a bottle of wine, she had a glass, then a second while I was processing the first. This became a theme later.

At 9 pm, 15 minutes before our hairs dresser was supposed to show up, my aunt called me.

"You're in Ylöjärvi now? Well, apparently someone broke into my cottage, i need a good camera to take pics for the report. Can you help me, this is scary."

It's like ... destiny...

I shouted at her (still no hearing aid) that she needs to stay absolutely put, and she needs to inform the person who checked on the cabin that I saw a boar there not two hours earlier, and that I will use their skins as carpets if any of them disobeyed me and went there without an adult that was not over 70 years old.

The guys were driving through a tunnel when we started calling them to go back to tampere. When we reached them, it was too late for them all to turn back (schools ended Saturday) so they left my husband to a taxi pole.

"You're not fucking going there if you don't take an axe with you. I can't get a cab from here in two hours, I'm sorry."

He was fine with it, i mean, he really wanted to witnes a girls night out, where his wife was counted a girl but letting my living relatives be eaten by a boar, as good as it would be for us, made him feel bad.

At this point I was eating so I could get the one glass of wine off my system to drive there but though I could've driven legally, this is the hill I'll die on. No drinking and driving.



Hubby called an hour later, around ten, that he got home, and he got my friend's dog and an axe and my aunt packed in a car and that they're driving to the cottage. He even told me to go get drunk, he'd join us after he handled it.

I mean, how hard can it be? Keep the elderly protected while you take a few pics of the break in?

IT AIN'T THAT FUCKING HARD!!!

It is. It is that hard.

I drank a second glass of wine, and a third one, my sister and our friends were having a ball, i was wearing a dress even at that point, since the black goo had been cut off from my hair and I found one I could fit in to. I kept trying to call the hubby and the aunt... neither of them had any service. Around midnight, we left to a bar, a local, since the traffic to tampere was still bad, we couldn't get a taxi.

Around 1 am I had had enough. You don't go check on a cabin that has been broken into, after a fucking boar sighting and you don't call back, or show up.

I found a cab, it was in front of a bar and all... jumped in. The cabbie spoke basically no Finnish but he spoke fluent German which I didn't at that point. When we got to our yard, i jumped out after telling him, and this is a rough translation.

"Wait here, please, i must go get my axe if we need to to the woods"

In German.

Again, all loonies are out in that weekend. While I ran to the house, and found my husband happily sleeping in our bed, the taxi guy took off, with my wallet mind you, and with my phone.

So, the next morning, after I shouted at the hubby for an hour for not letting me know he, and all others were okay, went like this.

I spent 2 hours on the phone with said taxi company, hell, i took their supervisor to the bloody (not a good word here) cabin so I could show him that I was not going to try my axe murdering skills on the driver. In the end, he was laughing his head off, which really didn't make me feel any better, i told the driver I had seen a wild boar there, but his fluent German translated it to me thinking of him as a wild boar.

All in all. I wore heels fro an hour. Almost caused a panic for our local drivers and ...

The next morning, a mildly pissed off Anna shouted at her aunt who never keeps her phone on, and the hubby, who just thought he didn't need to inform me at all since he was handling it, all the fucking day long.

So, that was my night. How was your Saturday?
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?

Last edited by Lups; 06-03-2019 at 03:48 PM..
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      06-03-2019, 04:02 PM   #2494
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my friend is divorcing his shoe whore wife so he sent me all her new ones to piss her off. I thought that would be a great gift for my sis.
This is epic.

The rest was like reading mad libs.
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      06-03-2019, 04:36 PM   #2495
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Originally Posted by Run Silent View Post
This is epic.

The rest was like reading mad libs.
I think you got auto corrected there.



I'm never trying to have a cheering up night out. I drank 4 glasses of wine, managed to dance 3 songs before I found a cab and this story will never die.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-03-2019, 06:04 PM   #2496
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Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
[SIZE="4"]Roadtrip![/SIZE]

Who's in?

Who's car?
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      06-03-2019, 06:52 PM   #2497
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Run Silent View Post
This is epic.

The rest was like reading mad libs.
I think you got auto corrected there.



I'm never trying to have a cheering up night out. I drank 4 glasses of wine, managed to dance 3 songs before I found a cab and this story will never die.
Naw. Think it right. Google "mad libs".
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      06-03-2019, 07:21 PM   #2498
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Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I booked us a spa day, then skipped it because my kitchen door mysteriously fell off ... I had eight pairs of heels and a ton of dresses packed ... i spotted a boar....My aunt had taken off her hearing aid ... We got to my sister's home, opened a bottle of wine... apparently someone broke into my cottage
... "You're not fucking going there if you don't take an axe with you" He was fine with it... He even told me to go get drunk... I drank a second glass of wine, and a third one,... Around 1 am I had had enough.... "Wait here, please, i must go get my axe if we need to to the woods"

The next morning, a mildly pissed off Anna
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I thought the next M4 was going to be a flying car powered by bloomin' onions and a teaspoon of mayonnaise. At least that's what I read on the internet @ BimmerPoop.org.
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      06-03-2019, 07:31 PM   #2499
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We can take the 360. I can carry one passenger or two midgets.
Sweet, gots to have a sunroof for safety, though:

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      06-04-2019, 03:32 AM   #2500
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Good morning to me...

" it looks like a herd of more than ten pigs. We need to file a report about our findings".

With any luck, they'll be able to slaughter them, but with my luck all they'll end up shooting is dog walkers.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-04-2019, 08:09 AM   #2501
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Good morning to me...

" it looks like a herd of more than ten pigs. We need to file a report about our findings".

With any luck, they'll be able to slaughter them, but with my luck all they'll end up shooting is dog walkers.
Do you get a decent share of the resulting bacon for having filed the report as to where the walking bacon was spotted?

Curious minds would like to know. Or you could ship some to me.
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he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
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      06-04-2019, 08:22 AM   #2502
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Do you get a decent share of the resulting bacon for having filed the report as to where the walking bacon was spotted?

Curious minds would like to know. Or you could ship some to me.
There is a mild issue with that.

The woods they're in now are owned by my aunt, and my grandma's what ever the fuck the pile is called you leave behind when you die. That means that even if I could convince my aunt to let hunters go and shoot them (never going to happen ), my uncle will make sure they'll have a refuge there, theyll keep people away.

Did I mention that I'm supposed to go and harvest the woods this summer? I'm so going to end up being bacon preproduct. I don't even have a dog that would be useful even as a snack for them now.

On the other hand, as a cod, that would be a bit unique and cool. I do hope the kids will haul a pig statue to my grave.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-05-2019, 01:45 PM   #2503
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Anyone else find this hilarious? I'd be pretty pissed at the tux rental shop not even ironing it first, what a bunch of bastards.

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      06-05-2019, 03:11 PM   #2504
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Anyone else find this hilarious? I'd be pretty pissed at the tux rental shop not even ironing it first, what a bunch of bastards.

I love to laugh, but I have no idea what you are looking at in the pic?

Charles pants look a little bunched? Trump..dunno, can't see anything it is so dark, so not sure if wrinkles?

Help me out.
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he's Canadian. By international law we all must worship him and all other products of the country.
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      06-05-2019, 03:11 PM   #2505
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Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
Anyone else find this hilarious? I'd be pretty pissed at the tux rental shop not even ironing it first, what a bunch of bastards.

[IMG]
View post on imgur.com
[/IMG]
No iron will hide his fat ass.

God he looks like a troll.
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You're making babies for me!
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      06-05-2019, 08:54 PM   #2506
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Sweet, gots to have a sunroof for safety, though:

TL/DR was this footage from the end of Anna’s night out?
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      06-05-2019, 09:23 PM   #2507
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I saw your post. I say your number 1 man sometimes in business meetings. My colleagues know I'm telling them fuck off, but everyone else in the thinks I'm praising them.


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Same here and same here. It's been years since I angrily told a coworker to fuck off and meant it. Great day/great way to end a shitty week.
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      06-05-2019, 11:13 PM   #2508
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Help me out.
Trump looks like a lobotomized imbecile complete with horrifically-fitting slept-in rental tux.

Reminds me of Father Jack. They did comb his hair though.

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