Bad, BMW. Bad!!!!!

[Monkey Throttle]

One of the most basic barometers I use to judge the quality of a track car is it's ability to get me home, always.

Today I did my second track day in the M4 at Buttonwillow. I will say, I had an amazing time on the new 18"s and NT01's. Thanks for all the advice. And yeah, I need track brake pads and fluid before the next event.

At the end of the 4th session, I come into the paddock and turn off the car. I start to pack up my folding chairs, canopy, cooler and am ready to head home. I press the Start button and get an error code:
"Remote Control Engine Will Not Start" "Hold Remote Control to Steering Column."

- At this point, the car has some power. Emergency lights work. Seats move. But car doesn't turn on or turn over. It's DEAD. Check the battery with a volt meter. It's fine. I call BMW Roadside Assistance. "All providers are currently busy, we are still searching for a provider to assist in a timely manner."

It's now been 2 hours of trying to diagnose what might be wrong. We pull the battery, leave it off and reinstall it. No better result.
- Somehow, the car limps back to life a little and the car turns on with stereo and such but the car still won't start.

I go to the paddock to talk to the track managers about leaving the car overnight (albeit the windows are still stuck open.) and suddenly one of my friends yells. WE GOT IT STARTED. No rhyme. No reason. It just suddenly turns over but still displays the message: "Remote Control Engine Will Not Start" "Hold Remote Control to Steering Column."

I count my blessings that the car has started because there are no flatbed trucks in the area and I don't want my car left in Bakersfield and I drive it home without turning off the ignition. I'm thinking, maybe it's the key and when I get home, I'll try the other key.

I get home, turn off the car. Try the other key. No luck. Car is dead again.

Not very happy at the moment.

[TractionControlDelete]

Originally Posted by Monkey Throttle

One of the most basic barometers I use to judge the quality of a track car is it's ability to get me home, always.

Today I did my second track day in the M4 at Buttonwillow. I will say, I had an amazing time on the new 18"s and NT01's. Thanks for all the advice. And yeah, I need track brake pads and fluid before the next event.

At the end of the 4th session, I come into the paddock and turn off the car. I start to pack up my folding chairs, canopy, cooler and am ready to head home. I press the Start button and get an error code:
"Remote Control Engine Will Not Start" "Hold Remote Control to Steering Column."

- At this point, the car has some power. Emergency lights work. Seats move. But car doesn't turn on or turn over. It's DEAD. Check the battery with a volt meter. It's fine. I call BMW Roadside Assistance. "All providers are currently busy, we are still searching for a provider to assist in a timely manner."

It's now been 2 hours of trying to diagnose what might be wrong. We pull the battery, leave it off and reinstall it. No better result.
- Somehow, the car limps back to life a little and the car turns on with stereo and such but the car still won't start.

I go to the paddock to talk to the track managers about leaving the car overnight (albeit the windows are still stuck open.) and suddenly one of my friends yells. WE GOT IT STARTED. No rhyme. No reason. It just suddenly turns over but still displays the message: "Remote Control Engine Will Not Start" "Hold Remote Control to Steering Column."

I count my blessings that the car has started because there are no flatbed trucks in the area and I don't want my car left in Bakersfield and I drive it home without turning off the ignition. I'm thinking, maybe it's the key and when I get home, I'll try the other key.

I get home, turn off the car. Try the other key. No luck. Car is dead again.

Not very happy at the moment.

Was the drive home normal? (Not in limp mode)

[Monkey Throttle]

Originally Posted by F82KPowers

Was the drive home normal? (Not in limp mode)

Seemed normal. I didn't go hard on it at all. But the car still seemed to be confused if the key was in it or not. It was running but still throwing that instructional message as if the car was not even started.

[mapster37]

are you sure it wasnt just a bad remote battery?

[Monkey Throttle]

Originally Posted by mapster37

are you sure it wasnt just a bad remote battery?

Yup. Tried the other remote when I got it home. Same issue.

[D_SheerDrivingPleasure]

Originally Posted by Monkey Throttle

Yup. Tried the other remote when I got it home. Same issue.

Annoying. sorry to hear this. Any chance that the battery in the other FOB is also dead? Sometimes it's best to try the easy solution first.

[uncle ben]

Let us know how it turns out. That’s one thing that haunts me with owning bmw’s, they sometimes pull crap like this.

I had an x5 that was running fine, then one day when me and the wife and kids are running errands, decides to not start outside of a store. Everything powered on, the engine would crank, but not fire. We try multiple times, no luck. Line up a tow truck and while waiting for them to show up, my wife asks me to try starting it one more time. The car starts up like nothing happened. No engine codes, no check engine lights, nothing for the mechanic to fix. Sold the car shortly after.

[rmanm4]

German Electrical Gremlins = GEG

This is why Japanese cars are more reliable!

This is also why its hard to own a German car after warranty period!

[NYG]

The electrical stuff with BMWs is the scariest shit. Glad you had a good time and got home.

[Monkey Throttle]

Service Advisor: "I was gonna tell you the battery in your key needed replacement but we checked. They're fine. YOUR CARS DEAD."

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Monkey Throttle

Service Advisor: "I was gonna tell you the battery in your key needed replacement but we checked. They're fine. YOUR CARS DEAD."

Is this a joke, or actual quote?

[Monkey Throttle]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

Is this a joke, or actual quote?

Actual quote. They won't be able to further inspect it till tomorrow.
- they were pushing it around the service area. Lol.

My guess is it will be something simple like
A connector on a module wiggled loose and just needs to be reseated. We shall see!

[FriedPiston]

Sounds like thermal protection may have kicked in on the Li-ion battery, or you have a fault in the electrical system somewhere. My guess would be alternator or a bad ground cable.

[Monkey Throttle]

Yup, my hunch was correct. It was just a cable going into a module that got unseated.
They plugged it back in and car was good to go.