Getting my F80 tuned today!

['Cane]

This car used to be mine, I sold it to OP when I picked up my M8 Comp last summer (and he’s been a friend for a decade, so I can say for sure this is definitely not a promotional thread). He let me drive it tonight and the only problem I can see, is that with stock tires, the rear breaks loose super easily. I was worried that it wouldn’t be too drivable as a DD, but it was pretty good under normal driving circumstances, but yeah, you can definitely feel the HP/TQ. And you can call BS all you want, but I’ve been on these forums for 14 years and never BS’d anyone.

[Mandi90TT]

Holy shit. OP, you got scammed, big time. This is scammier than Scientology.

[gerri]

Originally Posted by 65fastback

OH! you mean like in LA? yeah...driving like a total dick around other cars & traffic is 100% normal there. and I am not saying you do but I get why this would seam like no big deal.

if any one of those 3 cars he passed didn't see him coming and decided to change lanes at the wrong time causing the M driver to swerve or actually clip the other car at well over 100 mph. Its obvious the end result would suck, a lot.

just calling you out for saying there was only risk to himself.

In germany there are motorways without speed limits and statistically there are fewer deaths than in other motorways. (If you don't believe me you can read up on it). Is it more dangerous who drives at 280km / h concentrated in what they are doing or who drives at 100km / h and, bored, writes messages on the mobile phone?

[coxxoc]

OP, I’m glad you like the tune. The best way to see performance measure isn’t on a dyno anyway. Those are to help calibrate and show deltas. Timing systems at race tracks and tools like dragy tell the real story.

Look up MAHA wind tunnel dyno to see what your tuner was talking about. They are most popular in Europe for public use. I used a similar setup back when I tuned motorcycles with and enclosed wind tunnel room and dyno jet dyno. The air cooled and liquid cooled motorcycles would get too hot without it. Things like IAT and Coolant temp compensating logic get triggered without it.

[xxdachosen1xx]

Originally Posted by coxxoc

OP, I'm glad you like the tune. The best way to see performance measure isn't on a dyno anyway. Those are to help calibrate and show deltas. Timing systems at race tracks and tools like dragy tell the real story.

Look up MAHA wind tunnel dyno to see what your tuner was talking about. They are most popular in Europe for public use. I used a similar setup back when I tuned motorcycles with and enclosed wind tunnel room and dyno jet dyno. The air cooled and liquid cooled motorcycles would get too hot without it. Things like IAT and Coolant temp compensating logic get triggered without it.

Thank you, yes I love the tune. This is exactly what the engineer at Noelle said. But everyone on here seems to be an expert BMW engine builder🙄. Trying to tell me how to spend my money. Just because I don't go with the popular option that everyone else goes with they try to demonize me. What they fail to realize is I don't care how they spent their money so why are they concerned with my wallet.

[TideMD]

Originally Posted by xxdachosen1xx

Thank you, yes I love the tune. This is exactly what the engineer at Noelle said. But everyone on here seems to be an expert BMW engine builder��. Trying to tell me how to spend my money. Just because I don't go with the popular option that everyone else goes with they try to demonize me. What they fail to realize is I don't care how they spent their money so why are they concerned with my wallet.

No one is concerned with how you spend your money.

What people are concerned with (specifically, myself, as I'm always searching for the next performance increase) is the manner in which the positive feedback is being presented without validated proof.

I'm nothing close to a BMW (or any other brand) engineer. But, I can easily spend 5 seconds searching for tuning options and pull up a plethora of data showing what the "popular option(s)" can produce. Meanwhile, I get a story about any effort to validate this tune results in the voiding of the warranty (which it's worth noting the alleged "warranty" is truly the only positive aspect, despite its sketchy disclaimers that have been posted).

Ultimately, the teaching point here is to not come on an enthusiast forum spouting opinions about how this random tune is so much better than the established tuners' products unless you have data to back the claim beyond a sped-up video on some random public street.

I mean, seriously - no dyno numbers, no Dragy info, not even the most basic of data logs. And if I bought this tune I would be led to feel that any testing of the reported performance increase would be detrimental to my car and the tuner's "warranty."
But, yeah... sure... this tune is lightyears beyond the proven output from guys like Halim, CJordan, Alex@Alpine, MHD, or F80Paul.

[Muha]

Originally Posted by TideMD

No one is concerned with how you spend your money.

What people are concerned with (specifically, myself, as I'm always searching for the next performance increase) is the manner in which the positive feedback is being presented without validated proof.

I'm nothing close to a BMW (or any other brand) engineer. But, I can easily spend 5 seconds searching for tuning options and pull up a plethora of data showing what the "popular option(s)" can produce. Meanwhile, I get a story about any effort to validate this tune results in the voiding of the warranty (which it's worth noting the alleged "warranty" is truly the only positive aspect, despite its sketchy disclaimers that have been posted).

Ultimately, the teaching point here is to not come on an enthusiast forum spouting opinions about how this random tune is so much better than the established tuners' products unless you have data to back the claim beyond a sped-up video on some random public street.

I mean, seriously - no dyno numbers, no Dragy info, not even the most basic of data logs. And if I bought this tune I would be led to feel that any testing of the reported performance increase would be detrimental to my car and the tuner's "warranty."
But, yeah... sure... this tune is lightyears beyond the proven output from guys like Halim, CJordan, Alex@Alpine, MHD, or F80Paul.

I am waiting for the OP yet again to reply like he is to everyone else... "Call Noelle and he will explain it to you because I am not an engineer"

We get it, it made your car faster... that is what you would hope a tune would do. We would just like some data to compare with the other tuners available out there and not just taking your word for it.

[DRLane]

Originally Posted by Muha

I am waiting for the OP yet again to reply like he is to everyone else... "Call Noelle and he will explain it to you because I am not an engineer"

We get it, it made your car faster... that is what you would hope a tune would do. We would just like some data to compare with the other tuners available out there and not just taking your word for it.

From my comprehension, OP was just excited to share his tune. Isn't suggesting or advocating for anyone to get this explicitly, just advising curious parties to contact Noelle. If you don't want it, believe in it, or require additional data then it sounds like it's the wrong tune for you. Go with the countless other cookie cutter tune options. Who gives a shit...

OP enjoy the tune. Preferably on the track vs public roads if seeking triple digits. This isn't Germany and our roads or education are not designed to anticipate those speeds.

[USSEnterprise]

Driving at triple digit speeds on a public road and passing Honda elements on the right lane is stupidity. Taking a video of it and posting it on a forum is... what is the word.... neanderthal thinking.

[ptper]

OP came on a popular car enthusiast forum and posted about a tune he liked based on his research. That research entailed a test ride on a public street, asking a 'ton' of questions of Noelle and Karl the Expert. But, at no point during the questioning did he bother to ask about performance data to validate the power in the tune, yet he creates a post about his purchase and is surprised that he's having to field so many questions about it.

We all agree he is absolutely free to purchase whatever he wants, and to post about that purchasing experience. Now, does he feel like we're all lining up to roast him on here for a decision 99% of us wouldn't make? Maybe. Many of us just can't understand the logic, so we are guessing at a motive. Early in the thread, we suspected some sort of paid endorsement, more and more though, it's looking like he just bought into the tuning company's sales tactic.

I, for one, will say I appreciate him posting it and responding to all of us in a timely manner. I've binged watched pretty much everything these days, so the entertainment from reading this thread delivers immensely. Thank you, OP.

[xxdachosen1xx]

Originally Posted by Whatcoloristhat

3K for a tune?! Lmao damn i hope you happy at least.

Yes I'm very happy. It was money well spent.

[Mandi90TT]

Remove the tune, put on a BM3 tune, and you'll likely be happier and definitely much faster.

[xxdachosen1xx]

Originally Posted by ptper

OP came on a popular car enthusiast forum and posted about a tune he liked based on his research. That research entailed a test ride on a public street, asking a 'ton' of questions of Noelle and Karl the Expert. But, at no point during the questioning did he bother to ask about performance data to validate the power in the tune, yet he creates a post about his purchase and is surprised that he's having to field so many questions about it.

We all agree he is absolutely free to purchase whatever he wants, and to post about that purchasing experience. Now, does he feel like we're all lining up to roast him on here for a decision 99% of us wouldn't make? Maybe. Many of us just can't understand the logic, so we are guessing at a motive. Early in the thread, we suspected some sort of paid endorsement, more and more though, it's looking like he just bought into the tuning company's sales tactic.

I, for one, will say I appreciate him posting it and responding to all of us in a timely manner. I've binged watched pretty much everything these days, so the entertainment from reading this thread delivers immensely. Thank you, OP.

Thank you I appreciate the comment, I was not the driver. I saw previous threads about Noelle and how ever was attacking someone else on the forums and I told the tuner I had the same concerns dyno numbers to validate data logs etc. He told me he does MHD, Noelle tunes, BM3 tunes and he even told me he even knows Cary Jordan personally. I told him I had a relatively "new car to me" that I bought from a friend and I want something that makes good power but I'm also concerned about exceeded safety measure of the car because I had such low mileage.

He then told me I can take you on a ride in a car that has a Noelle tune only and you'll judge your opinion for yourself. He took me for a ride and I was blow away and how powerful it was with just a tune. I then pulled out my phone to record it. Again I was not the driver I was just sharing my experience and perspective as a passenger. Note* I've had several high performance cars tuned 911 Turbo, currently also have a BMW S1000rr sport bike so I'm use to very fast high performance vehicles. It just shocked me how it performed on software alone.

I let the original owner of the car "Cane" which is a forum member here drove the car 2 days and shared his impressions. He will tell you.

*one thing I did forget to mention that Ron told me* He told me once your car is tuned if you're unhappy with the tune and or performance he will give me
My money back with 14 days. I thought that was pretty cool that he would go that length and felt that strongly and confident about his product.

[xxdachosen1xx]

Originally Posted by Dave 90TT

Remove the tune, put on a BM3 tune, and you'll likely be happier and definitely much faster.

How do you know that have you driven both cars back to back tune for tune? Now you sound 100% biased. Tell me specifically How will I be happier. How do you know the car will be faster?

[Mandi90TT]

Originally Posted by xxdachosen1xx

How do you know that have you driven both cars back to back tune for tune? Now you sound 100% biased. Tell me specifically How will I be happier. How do you know the car will be faster?

Read all the reports, the failed dynos showing no improvement, all the BS marketing, and the crap that Noelle has put out, and you will see that there is no real tune involved, and that your car is no faster than stock.

Whereas with BM3 (and some other tunes out there), there is real improvement in both speed and HP/torque.

You're right. I don't know that you would be happier. I can't judge your happiness.

However, I do know that you would be appreciably, provably faster with a real tune, rather than a fake Noelle tune.

[xxdachosen1xx]

Originally Posted by Dave 90TT

Read all the reports, the failed dynos showing no improvement, all the BS marketing, and the crap that Noelle has put out, and you will see that there is no real tune involved, and that your car is no faster than stock.

Whereas with BM3 (and some other tunes out there), there is real improvement in both speed and HP/torque.

You're right. I don't know that you would be happier. I can't judge your happiness.

However, I do know that you would be appreciably, provably faster with a real tune, rather than a fake Noelle tune.

Exactly you don't know, nor have you been in a Noelle car tuned so your comment holds no merit. I've been in both cars tuned back to back so I can speak from experience unlike you.

['Cane]

Originally Posted by Dave 90TT

Read all the reports, the failed dynos showing no improvement, all the BS marketing, and the crap that Noelle has put out, and you will see that there is no real tune involved, and that your car is no faster than stock.

Whereas with BM3 (and some other tunes out there), there is real improvement in both speed and HP/torque.

You're right. I don't know that you would be happier. I can't judge your happiness.

However, I do know that you would be appreciably, provably faster with a real tune, rather than a fake Noelle tune.

I have driven this car stock (I put 6000 miles on it before I sold it) and now with the tune, and it's definitely not "BS marketing". I personally think it's making too much power, maybe with some suspension work, and stickier tires it'll be easier to get the power to the pavement, but it's definitely got a lot more power than a stock ZCP.

[Mandi90TT]

Originally Posted by 'Cane

I have driven this car stock (I put 6000 miles on it before I sold it) and now with the tune, and it's definitely not "BS marketing". I personally think it's making too much power, maybe with some suspension work, and stickier tires it'll be easier to get the power to the pavement, but it's definitely got a lot more power than a stock ZCP.

Butt dynos mean absolutely nothing.

Provable, repeatable results are literally all that matters.

Butt dynos are neither provable nor repeatable.

[Mandi90TT]

Originally Posted by xxdachosen1xx

Exactly you don't know, nor have you been in a Noelle car tuned so your comment holds no merit. I've been in both cars tuned back to back so I can speak from experience unlike you.

Butt dynos mean absolutely nothing.

Provable, repeatable results are literally all that matters.

Butt dynos are neither provable nor repeatable.

['Cane]

Originally Posted by Dave 90TT

Butt dynos mean absolutely nothing.

Provable, repeatable results are literally all that matters.

Butt dynos are neither provable nor repeatable.

Butt heads, on the other hand, as you appear to be in this thread.

[fiveohwblow]

[Mandi90TT]

Originally Posted by 'Cane

Butt heads, on the other hand, as you appear to be in this thread.

Sure, if you think speaking the truth is being a butt head.

I mostly grew out of insults like that when I turned 10 years old, but you do you.