Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by ///d

When I was on dating apps the gals I did end up meeting with explained to me that they get so many perverted messages that they miss a lot of genuine ones. If your profile pic doesn't stand out or looks too douchey they won't even look, or if your message doesn't grab their attention they wont even open it. I also had a gal tell me after maybe 20 minutes of messaging that I took too long to set up a date and she didn't want to spend forever getting to know someone through texts.

I feel like todays dating apps are more difficult than just going out somewhere. Attractive gals get bombarded with messages from all platforms. A past close friend of mine was very attractive and it was ridiculous the amount of messages she got just from Instagram or Facebook from dudes trying to hook up with her or take her out. A lot of those messages were seriously cringe...

Not justifying or legitimising any of those unwanted messages at all....but with social media if anyone gets unwanted attention there are privacy settings to lock things down. It sucks that it's necessary, but it's not going to change any time soon.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ///d

When I was on dating apps the gals I did end up meeting with explained to me that they get so many perverted messages that they miss a lot of genuine ones. If your profile pic doesn't stand out or looks too douchey they won't even look, or if your message doesn't grab their attention they wont even open it. I also had a gal tell me after maybe 20 minutes of messaging that I took too long to set up a date and she didn't want to spend forever getting to know someone through texts.

I feel like todays dating apps are more difficult than just going out somewhere. Attractive gals get bombarded with messages from all platforms. A past close friend of mine was very attractive and it was ridiculous the amount of messages she got just from Instagram or Facebook from dudes trying to hook up with her or take her out. A lot of those messages were seriously cringe...

I've gotten the same feedback from my female friends. One girl I know told me she gets 100-150 messages PER DAY. Insanity. Dating apps are awful; they cause men to become thirsty and desperate, and they cause women to overvalue themselves. They're toxic as hell IMO.

[Tambohamilton]

How many of those are real, and how many are DickGPT?

[///d]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

Not justifying or legitimising any of those unwanted messages at all....but with social media if anyone gets unwanted attention there are privacy settings to lock things down. It sucks that it's necessary, but it's not going to change any time soon.

A lot of truth to this, but my friend did have everything locked down except her profile photo was always of herself, and that alone would cause messages to come in.

Dudes are thirsty.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by G35POPPEDMYCHERRY

damn yall be hitting it raw too much. bout to get the clap and a child

These days you have to be smart even with someone you are dating. One of my friends was dating a girl for a year, ended up catching something from her because she got it from one of the guys she was cheating with.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I've gotten the same feedback from my female friends. One girl I know told me she gets 100-150 messages PER DAY. Insanity. Dating apps are awful; they cause men to become thirsty and desperate, and they cause women to overvalue themselves. They're toxic as hell IMO.

It really is crazy. Dating apps allow even average looking women to have body counts in the triple digits, then they wonder why no man of value wants to wife them up. Not taking that chance in today's society. I used to be on dating apps, but it became obvious the women were in two categories. Either they had some serious mental illnesses, but were otherwise normal, or they used it as a self esteem booster and wanted to add me to "their roster". Some of these women were seeing multiple guys in one weekend. Then they wanted me to pay the bill for an expensive restaurant and open the car door for them.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

It really is crazy. Dating apps allow even average looking women to have body counts in the triple digits, then they wonder why no man of value wants to wife them up. Not taking that chance in today's society. I used to be on dating apps, but it became obvious the women were in two categories. Either they had some serious mental illnesses, but were otherwise normal, or they used it as a self esteem booster and wanted to add me to "their roster". Some of these women were seeing multiple guys in one weekend. Then they wanted me to pay the bill for an expensive restaurant and open the car door for them.

yep.

[chinniciF32]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I've gotten the same feedback from my female friends. One girl I know told me she gets 100-150 messages PER DAY. Insanity. Dating apps are awful; they cause men to become thirsty and desperate, and they cause women to overvalue themselves. They're toxic as hell IMO.

Yea it really is crazy, I was out with someone recently and we were talking about this topic over dinner and she proceeded to show me her tinder blowing up it was no exaggeration dozens of guys liking her profile and sending her messages every few minutes and I was "woah", now I know why the apps have those settings in your messages to organize them by recent, distance, or favorite people meanwhile i'll maybe have 11 people in my inbox 2 or 3 out of the 11 im actively messaging.

Its hard for the genuine average or even above average guy to stand out in her inbox or liked section in a sea of thirsty pervs, all of that boosts the womans ego and like you said it causes them to overvalue themselves so as a guy you really have to have a solid first pic and witty one liner in your profile for them to right swipe or even consider liking you....all of this versus approaching her at whole foods, homegoods or even at the gym in the flesh in real time and having a signifcantly better shot if you look decent and have some game

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

Its hard for the genuine average or even above average guy to stand out in her inbox or liked section in a sea of thirsty pervs, all of that boosts the womans ego and like you said it causes them to overvalue themselves so as a guy you really have to have a solid first pic and witty one liner in your profile for them to right swipe or even consider liking you....all of this versus approaching her at whole foods, homegoods or even at the gym in the flesh in real time and having a signifcantly better shot if you look decent and have some game

Bingo. Get off of the dating apps and social media sites, all of them. They're trash. When I meet a girl and she's on every dating app known to man and has an Instagram account 10 miles long with nothing but T&A selfies, I identify that as the red flag that it is and I move along.

[Car-Addicted]

Christmas dinner with the relatives pretty much cures me of thoughts of dating for a least a year.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by chinniciF32

Yea it really is crazy, I was out with someone recently and we were talking about this topic over dinner and she proceeded to show me her tinder blowing up it was no exaggeration dozens of guys liking her profile and sending her messages every few minutes and I was "woah", now I know why the apps have those settings in your messages to organize them by recent, distance, or favorite people meanwhile i'll maybe have 11 people in my inbox 2 or 3 out of the 11 im actively messaging.

Its hard for the genuine average or even above average guy to stand out in her inbox or liked section in a sea of thirsty pervs, all of that boosts the womans ego and like you said it causes them to overvalue themselves so as a guy you really have to have a solid first pic and witty one liner in your profile for them to right swipe or even consider liking you....all of this versus approaching her at whole foods, homegoods or even at the gym in the flesh in real time and having a signifcantly better shot if you look decent and have some game

What about those of us who have no game, though? In person I'm like a deer in the headlights, but behind a keyboard I can at least string a sentence together.

(Yes, I know I'm odd! )

[Mike.]

I think in 2016, or 2017 I documented a lot of my dating experiences-was a wild time.

Well, fast forward to last month and I got married.

There's hope ya'll!!

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

What about those of us who have no game, though? In person I'm like a deer in the headlights, but behind a keyboard I can at least string a sentence together.

Don't pedestalize women, they're just regular people - all of them. I promise you have more game than you're aware of; your 'game' is just you being you. Get out and practice talking to women, approaching them, making eye contact, etc. It's no different than going to the gym; you'll be weak at first, but before you know it you'll be benching twice your body weight. Besides, if you can't interact with a woman in person you will 100% lose out to a guy who can.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Don't pedestalize women, they're just regular people - all of them. I promise you have more game than you're aware of; your 'game' is just you being you. Get out and practice talking to women, approaching them, making eye contact, etc. It's no different than going to the gym; you'll be weak at first, but before you know it you'll be benching twice your body weight. Besides, if you can't interact with a woman in person you will 100% lose out to a guy who can.

Thanks. I'm not single anyhow - met my partner on tinder But yeah, things were never as simple for me as they seem for most. No doubt mainly my fault, but I'm not bitter - it's just how it is!

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

But yeah, things were never as simple for me as they seem for most.

Same here, I've always had to learn the things I know by making every mistake in the book and learning the hard way.

[440i6MT]

Not necessarily a date, but I'd been chatting up this girl for a few days. Going well. I eventually asked "what made her wifey material". It was on her profile, so you'd figure someone would defend a statement they themselves made. Checked back the next day and our conversation disappeared

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by 440i6MT

Not necessarily a date, but I'd been chatting up this girl for a few days. Going well. I eventually asked "what made her wifey material". It was on her profile, so you'd figure someone would defend a statement they themselves made. Checked back the next day and our conversation disappeared

Did you ever meet her in person? More importantly, what's up the the E60 M5 manual situation?

[LDT]

Ignore the political ad at the beginning

[nawfoo]

My Uncle's Wife introduced me to her niece. Only problem is that were related through our cousins.

[440i6MT]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Did you ever meet her in person? More importantly, what's up the the E60 M5 manual situation?

I did not.
If I meet any girl/woman in person where the context is that of a date, it's a wrap. Getting there has always, and obviously, been the challenge.

I've been waiting 3 months for it to go live on the auction block

[erickonphoenix]

This is probably a terrible post but it was very effective.

On the dating apps I would find ones I liked. Open a word doc and drop their pic and general info under neath. As I called them or met them in person I would add pertinent details. If I called or met them again I'd study their doc so I'd be up on all their personal info. Helped me look engaged and thoughtful.

Next was filtering out dead ends or problem candidates. If they filtered me out that was fine, it will happen most of the time. Had some good wife material come through but ultimately wound up reconnecting with a woman I know years ago.

It was a very efficient system but comes with a few caveats. Don't take you dates to the same watering holes. Be mindful of violent exes, ask about them. Be vague about your residence early on.

[///d]

Originally Posted by erickonphoenix

This is probably a terrible post but it was very effective.

On the dating apps I would find ones I liked. Open a word doc and drop their pic and general info under neath. As I called them or met them in person I would add pertinent details. If I called or met them again I'd study their doc so I'd be up on all their personal info. Helped me look engaged and thoughtful.

Next was filtering out dead ends or problem candidates. If they filtered me out that was fine, it will happen most of the time. Had some good wife material come through but ultimately wound up reconnecting with a woman I know years ago.

It was a very efficient system but comes with a few caveats. Don't take you dates to the same watering holes. Be mindful of violent exes, ask about them. Be vague about your residence early on.

See I think this is why I struggled so much with dating in todays age. It's common and acceptable to date multiple at once, or one after another, and with online apps it's so easy to have options. I was not raised this way, I'm a one at a time kind of guy.

TI felt like online dating or when dating multiple at once it's just shopping for whatever you liked the most at the time. It's fast paced, now or never and I never felt like there was ever any real connections. Just hammered with questions that gave no real indication of the person. It wasn't until I stopped looking that I found someone that I actually connected with.